do parents have to be mature?

so, we finished our birthing classes on monday.

the last class was all about "post partum". not really just the depression part, but more about what to do with (or i guess how to take care of) the baby once she is here.

anyway, the teacher came up with so many good bits of advice and info on how gross a new baby can be (just look up cradle cap, the umbilical cord, etc.). of course, being the mature man that i am, i giggled through the entire class--always under my breath as to not annoy anyone else. of course.

but i decided that i am going to start picking up some funny terms and talking about them. my first is...

"Pooping Out"

as in, "oh no! she pooped out the outfit" (the poop goes up the back and ruins her cute little outfit--always have a spare outfit around.)

when the teacher said "when they poop out the outfit" i laughed out loud. i could not help myself. she laughed too, and she was like, "no, seriously, you'll see. there will be a big yellow stain up her back, through the clothes."

perfect. am i ready for this (literal) crap? i am sure i will be fine. but as a back up, i am thinking i need to come up with an alternate meaning to "pooping out". like, "oh i am so pooped out. i can't possible change that diaper. sorry."

emily will love that.

labor day.

i know the topic of a lot of my discussions lately revolve around the baby, and labor and delivery. but this discussion is about labor DAY--the holiday--not the day on which my wife will go in to labor. (or at least we hope!)

can i just say that i am really excited for a 4 day weekend. thank you, dear employer for extending my weekend, as i will not be on vacation for a long, long time.

emily and i are just hanging out at home. we're thinking up ideas for things to do. so far on the list we have:

1. dinner at parc
2. trip to the zoo
3. labor day pic-nic at the in-laws'(read: secret baby shower--no worries, emily thinks i am a nerd and wont even read this blog. ever. seriously.)

any other ideas for us? do you want to invite us to your beach get away? or have us over for mocktails (um, beer for me)? if yes, you know where to reach me. in the comments section.

holy crap

so...baby is definitely on her way. we feel like she wants to come early. so we're trying to do as much as we possibly can to prepare for her arrival.

as good catholic children, we know that we want our baby baptized. the problem there is that we don't really go to church every weekend...or any weekend? so, yeah, maybe we aren't necessarily "good catholic children" per se, but we try. so for months (basically since baby was conceived), we have been saying, "we need to register at church so we can get the baby baptized. usually this was stated while we were walking past our church on the way to a restaurant. oops.

so, finally, we had a free sunday yesterday and went to annunciation bvm for 11:30 (not too early, thank god. literally.) mass and registered afterward. and it was so easy. i really expected problems, or a sit down with the priest. but it was so easy. and now we're official. oh, and there was a baptism during mass yesterday, so it was perfect. and awesome, because the baby's name was giovanni nicholas. i love you, south philly.

but who know you had to go through a pre-cana of sorts to baptize a baby!?!i forget what the lady called it. but she talked about it. ugh. so we not only have to go to church, but we have to take some random class to tell us how to raise baby catholic. interesting.

in the end, it's probably all good. i guess it's time for me to grow up and be a good parent. we'll never be the people who go to church every sunday and go to the numerous chruch functions, but it's nice to know that community is there.

amen.

weddings. schmeddings.

we went to a wedding last weekend in cape may. i had to take a hlf day to celebrate the nuptials of two strangers (emily's coworker).

i am going to long island (pronouce: lawng eye-luhnd)this weekend for a distant cousins's SUNDAY AFTERNOON wedding. i'm sorry, the church called, and they told me you are NOT allowed to get married on a sunday. oh, i'm sorry, it's not in a church. i should have known.

i am really not this evil, people. and i do like to celebrate the love. but, seriously, two in two weekends? that is way too much. i have too much to do:

1. fix the walls and paint baby's room. and paint the baseboards.
2. take the bad curtains down in baby's room and get new ones installed.
3. fix the water damage in my basement, because my idiot neighbor built a deck on his old ass roof and i have been getting flooded. assssssss...
4. save money to buy an iphone already. hell-fucking-lo? 2 weddings=4 iphones. sheesus.

i think that's it. i am sure there is more, but i can't think now. i need to end this hell week.

go on, pigeonhead!