awkward children

venezuala, circa 1988 (?)

there i was, in venezuala...wondering why no one there had tight rolled their pants or buttoned their shirts all the way up. did they not know style? were there no cool kids in caracus? where the z cavaricci at? where my bugle boyz at? nowhere to be found. i was bound to show them what it was to be hip and cool. or maybe what it was to want to be hip and cool.

damn, i was the most awkward person in the world at age 13 (that is an estimate--you can never tell how old i am in pictures, because i was/am a human giant). i am still pretty awkward, but do i look like that now? will i look at current pictures when i am 45 and gasp and want to curl up in a ball and make it go away? please say no. (in my mind, i know the answer is "yes" since i shudder at photos now.)

i mean, i have to say, this can't be all my fault. seriously. what were my parents thinking? did they think i was a "cute" kid? there is no possible way. why didn't they cage me up and never let me out? how did they let me pick those glasses? did they not know that the eyeball does not extend to the cheek and that my cheeks don't need to see too? did they think the tight roll was okay? (to my defense, those pants had a printed material on the inside. so bugle boy encouraged the tight roll--my parents didn't even have to.)

anyway. that picture speaks for itself. and i have many many others that speak for my awkwardness as well. and they are going to get better. or worse? in any case, i'm going to begin to post them every once in a while. it's therapeutic. (not really, but that is a funny thought: embarrassing myself is therapeutic.)