the ultimate lazy

i have reached a new level of lazy. at work.

a coworker and i have a pseudo bet going that we can make it until at least december without changing the bottle on the water cooler.

his rule is that he doesn't take a cup of water when the level is at the second line on the bottle. mine is that i just don't change the bottle. ever. in fact, i just went into the kitchen with my red silo cup in hand (it's like a keg party at work) and found the bottle empty. i went without water. i seriously ate lunch with no drink.

see, for a while i was exempt from changing the bottle, because of my surgery. but now i am all good and have no reason to NOT change it. except for the fact that i am lazy. and place a bet on top of that (with no wager, that is what makes it "pseudo"), and you will never see me lift a bottle.

i do have to say, though, that this could bring some awkward times. what will i do when a woman asks me to change the bottle? that always happened at my last job. i could say, "sorry, i am morally against water bottles of that size." or "ooh, not gonna happen." those probably wouldn't work.

while i am on this topic, i have to tell this story. when i was on a break from any lifting, maybe a week after my surgery, i was walking through the kitchen and a younger woman was changing the bottle. she lifted it up, spilled some water, stepped back, slipped backwards and spilled all of the contents of the bottle on herself. IT WAS HILARIOUS. all you heard was, "oooooohhhh..." but i scurried out of the kitchen, because i quickly realized that i was the only male there. i swear i was only passing through.

regardless, i have never changed the bottle.