office rule

there are some basic rules that one should follow when sharing a workspace with others. we all know the rules, even though they are not explicitly written. well, at least not in my work.

a rule that is pretty far down on the list in my mind, but still very viable is: NO MICROWAVE POPCORN.

we all like it, but we all know that it smells and that it is SO easy to burn. and it smells even worse when it burns. and can linger for hours.

so just stay away from it. make it at home when you are all snuggled up on your couch watching reality tv or a martin lawrence movie.

that's it.

people are gross

did you ever notice that people do things in public that you would never do at home, alone? i am not just talking about digging a booger out of your nose or scratching your butt. i am talking about disturbingly bizarre behavior.

on wednesday night i saw a woman on the train scratch at the ashes on her forehead (ash wednesday for you heathens). after she scratched some ashes off, she LICKED HER FINGER.

i seriously almost puked.

why would you ever do that?? did she just always wonder what palm ashes taste like? or did she not eat dinner and was just so hungry that she needed something to hold her over? was she going to lick the subway seat next? or maybe pick a scab? i just couldn't look at her again. and luckily, my ride was over moments later.

look-a-likes

one of my clients called me today and asked me where i live.

for a split second i thought i might have a stalker on my hands. then i realized that i am talking about an older mom-type. oh yeah, and me. so i told her i live in camden and then she said, "oh, i tought i saw you on the R3 train this morning." it must have been my doppleganger. i can only imagine the freak she saw and thought was me. i hate the idea of being compared to other people, looks-wise, because it makes me realize how really fucking goofy i look.

so this brings me to another point. while i don't like to be compared to someone else's looks, i am always comparing others! one look-a-like case that i have been talking about for like a year came up in conversation today. blanche from the golden girls vs. hilary duff.




VS.





seriously, look at them. they could be related. they both have that flat face, pug look. i have, in the past, said that look is a bit like down syndrome, but that is just wrong. with that, i will leave you.

ice, ice baby.

we stayed home from work yesterday due to the ice storm (and valentine's day).

the only problem was that i had already cancelled our reservations at amada for dinner, because i thought i would have had class. but nooo...mutha nay-chuh dumped a buttload of ice and snow on us. so we called out, watched saved by the bell and did nothing. we went out for lunch at this funny mexican place near our house and then walked to acme to get some dinner food and essentials, like edy's sundae cone ice cream.

by the time class time had come around, i had already decided i wasn't going. then i got an email from the teacher anouncing that class was cancelled.

well guess what? so were my valentine's day plans. thank you, ice.

i'm bored.

it has been brought to my attention, by several people, that i have not posted in a while.

i don't really have many excuses, except for the fact that i am bored as hell. it's winter, it's cold, there isn't much happening. i just travelled to houston for work and it was boring. i am in class and it's boring. i went out to dinner over the weekend and it was boring.

i did make a list of things that made me laugh two weeks ago in class, because i was so bored. but i forget what i even wrote. i can tell you some recent things that have happened to me. but beware, because they are all boring.

1. we are *thinking* about getting a dog. but that wouldn't happen until spring, if it actually does happen. and we have no idea what breed we'd buy.

2. i keep finding more annoying things wrong with my house and wonder when the contractor is going to come and fix them.

3. i bought the lily allen album and it's really good and quite funny. emily likes it mich more than i do.

4. we went to our friend's baby's birthday party on saturday and realized that we are a dying breed: 30 year old married people without a baby.

5. i had to cancel our valentine's day reservations at amada because i have class until 8:30. romantic.

6. we've decided to go to an island resort for vacation rather than london. it will be good because i need to relax and do nothing but drink and read.

7. we were watching the grammy red carpet last night (i know that is gay and lame) and saw nikki branco walking seal down the red carpet. that was funny.

8. i think i like that dixie chicks song that won like 30 awards.

9. it's going to snow tomorrow and i have to go to DC. lame.

10. a guy threw up on emily, rose and another person's coat in a bar on friday and i guilted all of his friends in to paying for people's dycleaning. i felt like a dousche after it all went down, but people were happy i did it.

that is it. bored.