There is a Place in Hell for Me and My Friends

almost ready

2008-10-21T19:27:00.000-07:00

so it should only be a few days now until we bring home baby.

and through all the drama of the house and the mess, we ended up getting the room (almost) done. believe it or not, it's painted, blinds are in, crib is in, shelf is hung, closet is organized, and emily is really happy.

we only came across a few snags:
1. the crib company needs to send us a new piece, because it was defective.
2. one of the blinds is messed up, so we need to call blinds to go to get a new one.
3. the birdie decal i ordered on etsy came, but it's destroyed. they're sending a new one.

so, nothing major. oh, and i got crazy glue ALL over my fingers, haha! emily did too. we're stuck. not really, but i can not feel my fingertips as i type...

so here are some pictures of what we've done with the place:

new chair, table, lamp and blinds. i foresee many late nights in this spot.

dresser. i put new pulls on. i am working on the top 4. i am trying a trick by spray painting the old gold bases pink. we'll see how that works out. i hung t his ikea shelf too. oh and that is a changing pad on top of the dresser. i foresee lots of poo in this spot.

back of the door. some toys. not exciting sorry.

this diva got a full closet already, hayyyy!

and this is the crib...not fully together, and we have 2 pictures to hang above it.

Baby's room is painted

2008-10-18T15:06:00.001-07:00

Emily is really happy. So am I...less work to do when she gets here!

Still no baby!!

2008-10-17T06:45:00.001-07:00

This is Emily getting a "non stress test" to make sure baby is okay. They record the heartbeat for 30 minutes. So far so good!

Send us good baby vibes! We need to have her before Thursday, which is when they plan to induce labor.

PS-that is a decaf starbucks

Should I paint?

2008-10-13T16:26:00.001-07:00

This is our dining room spot. I am calling it a "spot" because it's small. It is very minimal. I want to build shelves along the wall and maybe paint a "bold" color on that wall. What color should I paint?

Get all DYI on me and check it out. Color suggestions are welcomed.

Lunch with my girl(s)

2008-10-13T14:27:00.001-07:00

Since Em is done working, she's been meeting me for lunch! Today we went to Johnny Brenda's.

still waiting...

2008-10-13T07:15:00.000-07:00

baby was due on saturday.

she is still not here. she's now 2 days overdue. emily's next appointment is on friday. there is no plan for inducing just yet.

i am convinced that she is not coming out until her room is ready. it's like she knows or something? lucky for us, we have a friend who is in construction, and he's coming over tonight with a coworker to rip out the ceiling and replace the insulation and drywall. pretty awesome. they think they'll be done on tuesday. then, all i need to do is paint the room and move everything in. easy!

all i know is that i have been waiting on women my whole life, so this comes as no surprise.

i will be happy if i have all the time to do this before she comes. if not, i will still be really happy.

waiting.

2008-10-10T06:23:00.000-07:00

tomorrow is october 11.

tomorrow is our due date. and we are SO excited. and anxious. and wondering when it will happen. will it be in the morning? at night? next week? this weekend? today...? emily is done working and is coming to meet me for lunch today. we're getting as much time in now as possible, because if one more person tells me it all ends when the baby is born, i might explode.

yeah, i know we won't have as much "freedom to do what we want", but we are still going to do things! it's not like we can't take the baby anywhere. and it's not like we won't. little does baby know, but she's taking her first trip to connecticut over the holidays. she's going to love it there.

anyway, wish us luck. i am not sure if i will post again before our little nugget is born. i just can't wait to meet her!

oh and ps...as you can see below, i can now post pictures via the iphone again. but i need to take the picture within the app to make sure it works. this is why i used a photo of a seat on the bus. i was very tempted to take a picture of myself with the asian woman next to me. anywa...that means baby will go straight to blog. haha. i am sure all of you family members are happy.

Testing!

2008-10-09T15:31:00.001-07:00

annoyed

2008-10-08T09:56:00.000-07:00

so, i have been posting, or trying to post, photos since sept 17. i just realized that they have not been posting. i am trying to figure that out. you didn't miss too much, really. photos were of:

-huge church carnival in south philly.
-jenny lewis concert
-random pictures of us while waiting for a movie

and maybe some other stuff? so now i am back to the old fashioned way of blogging. ha. so much for shozu. seriously, though, blogger needs an app for iphone. google should be on that already.

not much else to report. aside from the fact that baby is due in 3 days!

i am sure there will be a blog shortage after that happens. nothing new. but i may post a photo or two of our baby bird.

wish us luck!

i love these songs. you should too.

2008-10-08T09:52:00.001-07:00

unbelievable

2008-09-18T06:29:00.000-07:00

warning: this is totally disgusting.

we went to the mall last night and macy's was decorated for CHRISTMAS.

it was september 17!!! what the hell???

evidence:

okay, just reread. maybe not "disgusting" but i was seriously disgusted. it gets earlier and earlier every year. and it takes away the magic of christmas from my wooden heart.

oh fun quick story: about 3 years ago, my nephew was about 13 and still believed in santa. so my sister had to tell him the awful truth. his response was "IS THERE NO MAGIC LEFT IN THE WORLD??" classic.

anyway, i am upset about how the mall ruins holidays, but i am not upset about the fact that emily and i are going to have the best christmas ever this year!

why i love macs

2008-09-16T12:39:00.001-07:00

okay, let me start out by stating that i am an employee of a huge company that is not apple. (that should give you a hint as to just how nerdy this blog is about to get.)

now that's out of the way, let me tell you how much i am in love with apple. i mean, deep, everlasting love. LOVE. geek love. but still, love.

so here is what happened. for many years, i was a giant loser and used PCs. but have had 2 ipods and an ipod mini (for emily). i finally broke emily down six months ago and she let me buy an imac.

at that point, i copied all of my music--stuff i imported and bought on itunes--on to an external drive. or at least i thought i did. when i got everything on to my shiny new imac, i found that i lost about 6 albums that i had purchased on itunes. and the PC was wiped clean and sitting on my parents' desk in nj.

ok, i will get to the point of the story.

i started to notice that i was missing music that was new. i was upset. but i figured i had to write it off. but on sunday (like 6 months later when i was annoyed that i didn't have an album i needed and wanted--but not enough to re-buy), i emailed customer support to see if there was any way i could get my music back.

two days later, i got an email that started with, "Hi Brett, Hope your day is going well..."

little did i know it was going to get better. i expected, "...but I am sorry to inform you that our store policy is that it's your loss. get over it, dork" BUT NO!

i am getting all 5 albums (worth at least $50) back for free!! i just gave them a list and they are going to put them all in my itunes queue for me.

i have to say, i get very excited by GOOD customer service. and on the flip side, i get REALLY FUCKING PISSED over really bad customer service. so this brightened my day.

i mean, this is the stuff that even a good commercial that includes jerry seinfeld (oh, i know that's a major oxymoron) could fix. i will forever love apple.

so go out and buy a mac. or an iphone. at least a shuffle. you will be happy. i kid you not. i love all of the above. seriously.

i hope i can't get fired over this passion. i mean, i could tell you to buy one of those other mp3 players. but i won't. ipods are better.

Baby Shower #3

2008-09-15T19:24:00.001-07:00

My friends at work threw a nice party for me today! It was a total surprise and really nice.

I have to say...it's really nice to have good friends!

update: allison posted some pictures to her flickr account.

the first photo is of me walking past the conference room, ignoring the surprise. i saw andrea standing there with a camera and thought, "oh that is weird. she must be doing research or something. i'll walk around to the other side of the room."

then mark had to come and get me. it was a total surprise.

it's dinner time

2008-09-15T12:05:00.001-07:00

since the baby is due in three weeks (!!!), we decided to go out to dinner as much as possible.

last week we went to karma and then went to see a movie. i am not sure why we selected indian, considering we watched an episode of "gordon ramsay's kitchen nightmares" the night before. chef ramsay took over an indian place in nyc that was infested with rats and roaches. sick. anyway, karma did not disappoint.

last night we went to estia for philly restaurant week. i have to say that i was not impressed. i had fish. it was SO not de-boned. i had about 5 bones in my last bite. i gave up after that. you know, restaurant week is never the best way to try a nice place. they are usually overbooked, so the food and service usually suffers. from what everyone else said last night, our waiter had some killer breath. i am glad i was upwind on that one. haha.

this week we want to go to the victor cafe, where the waiters sing opera and serve up some authentic south philly italian. mmmm...i can not wait.

we still have a couple more weeks. anyone have any suggestions?

Songs for a Rainy Day

2008-09-13T12:20:00.001-07:00

The sweetest handmade baby gift ever!

2008-09-11T07:50:00.001-07:00

Our friend lisa made this super cute sweater and pants for baby. She is so talented!

If she's a biggun (and she could be), this might be a great outfit to bring her home in.

Four weeks to go!

Holy Hannah

2008-09-06T18:34:00.001-07:00

This tree fell in to my parents' back yard!

Computer wasteland 2008

2008-09-05T15:35:00.001-07:00

These old monitors are lined up in the hall at my work. I have been there for almost two years and never have I seen one In use. They're so 2000.

Fish lips to reel

2008-09-04T16:20:00.001-07:00

Playing in the background:

"Went to a party last Saturday night
Didn't get laid, got in a fight
Uh huh-it ain't no big thing..."

I miss Lita Ford.

There's a baby in there!

2008-09-03T17:00:00.001-07:00

Annoying emily more with the iPhone. I love blogging from the couch while she watches the view on DVR. Who's the nerd now?

Watching TV

2008-09-03T16:56:00.001-07:00

She is so in love with me.

Testing ShoZu

2008-09-03T09:43:00.001-07:00

This picture is from Emily's shower on Sunday. 6 more weeks until baby arrives!

do parents have to be mature?

2008-08-27T13:28:00.000-07:00

so, we finished our birthing classes on monday.

the last class was all about "post partum". not really just the depression part, but more about what to do with (or i guess how to take care of) the baby once she is here.

anyway, the teacher came up with so many good bits of advice and info on how gross a new baby can be (just look up cradle cap, the umbilical cord, etc.). of course, being the mature man that i am, i giggled through the entire class--always under my breath as to not annoy anyone else. of course.

but i decided that i am going to start picking up some funny terms and talking about them. my first is...

"Pooping Out"

as in, "oh no! she pooped out the outfit" (the poop goes up the back and ruins her cute little outfit--always have a spare outfit around.)

when the teacher said "when they poop out the outfit" i laughed out loud. i could not help myself. she laughed too, and she was like, "no, seriously, you'll see. there will be a big yellow stain up her back, through the clothes."

perfect. am i ready for this (literal) crap? i am sure i will be fine. but as a back up, i am thinking i need to come up with an alternate meaning to "pooping out". like, "oh i am so pooped out. i can't possible change that diaper. sorry."

emily will love that.

labor day.

2008-08-26T12:49:00.000-07:00

i know the topic of a lot of my discussions lately revolve around the baby, and labor and delivery. but this discussion is about labor DAY--the holiday--not the day on which my wife will go in to labor. (or at least we hope!)

can i just say that i am really excited for a 4 day weekend. thank you, dear employer for extending my weekend, as i will not be on vacation for a long, long time.

emily and i are just hanging out at home. we're thinking up ideas for things to do. so far on the list we have:

1. dinner at parc
2. trip to the zoo
3. labor day pic-nic at the in-laws'(read: secret baby shower--no worries, emily thinks i am a nerd and wont even read this blog. ever. seriously.)

any other ideas for us? do you want to invite us to your beach get away? or have us over for mocktails (um, beer for me)? if yes, you know where to reach me. in the comments section.

holy crap

2008-08-25T12:43:00.000-07:00

so...baby is definitely on her way. we feel like she wants to come early. so we're trying to do as much as we possibly can to prepare for her arrival.

as good catholic children, we know that we want our baby baptized. the problem there is that we don't really go to church every weekend...or any weekend? so, yeah, maybe we aren't necessarily "good catholic children" per se, but we try. so for months (basically since baby was conceived), we have been saying, "we need to register at church so we can get the baby baptized. usually this was stated while we were walking past our church on the way to a restaurant. oops.

so, finally, we had a free sunday yesterday and went to annunciation bvm for 11:30 (not too early, thank god. literally.) mass and registered afterward. and it was so easy. i really expected problems, or a sit down with the priest. but it was so easy. and now we're official. oh, and there was a baptism during mass yesterday, so it was perfect. and awesome, because the baby's name was giovanni nicholas. i love you, south philly.

but who know you had to go through a pre-cana of sorts to baptize a baby!?!i forget what the lady called it. but she talked about it. ugh. so we not only have to go to church, but we have to take some random class to tell us how to raise baby catholic. interesting.

in the end, it's probably all good. i guess it's time for me to grow up and be a good parent. we'll never be the people who go to church every sunday and go to the numerous chruch functions, but it's nice to know that community is there.

amen.

weddings. schmeddings.

2008-08-15T14:27:00.000-07:00

we went to a wedding last weekend in cape may. i had to take a hlf day to celebrate the nuptials of two strangers (emily's coworker).

i am going to long island (pronouce: lawng eye-luhnd)this weekend for a distant cousins's SUNDAY AFTERNOON wedding. i'm sorry, the church called, and they told me you are NOT allowed to get married on a sunday. oh, i'm sorry, it's not in a church. i should have known.

i am really not this evil, people. and i do like to celebrate the love. but, seriously, two in two weekends? that is way too much. i have too much to do:

1. fix the walls and paint baby's room. and paint the baseboards.
2. take the bad curtains down in baby's room and get new ones installed.
3. fix the water damage in my basement, because my idiot neighbor built a deck on his old ass roof and i have been getting flooded. assssssss...
4. save money to buy an iphone already. hell-fucking-lo? 2 weddings=4 iphones. sheesus.

i think that's it. i am sure there is more, but i can't think now. i need to end this hell week.

go on, pigeonhead!

2008-08-01T17:52:00.001-07:00

my first mixwit. check it out!

2008-07-30T12:52:00.001-07:00

freak (beach) scene

2008-07-30T09:05:00.000-07:00

emily and i went to cape may with jeff and kathy over the weekend.

we spent the morning on saturday driving down. i hate traffic. can someone please invent a jet pack or some space age shit? it's almost 2009, i mean, seriously. i hate driving. hate. i digress. so we ended up at the beach at about 2:00, which is sort of lame. but we hiked to this cool little beach and took lots of pictures along the way.

but there is something very fascinating about the beaches in cape may. they're filled with french canadians. why? i have no idea. why wouldn't they go to new york beaches? or north jersey at least? weird. but the bigger question is...why are the men still wearing Speedos??? for serious!

so i was taking all sorts of pictures of my cute, pregnant wife when i noticed a speedo. see exhibit a:

unintentional shot

so, of course, i check the photo right away and start laughing at the geezer in the speedo. and, of course, i need to take a shot of him alone. i don't know why, just because. if you know me, you expect nothing less.

intentional shot

doesn't the second shot look like that old age famous shot of sasquatch?? HILARIOUS!

anyway, that was the point of my story. speedos=bad. picture of men in speedos=bad, but so funny. i had to share with the world. sorry, old man, for comparing you to sasquatch. but one might compare what's in the speedo to the lochness monster...

great article

2008-07-15T06:49:00.000-07:00

every once in a while, i will come across a great headline or article and share it. today i found one of the best:

(on cnn.com)

Ravers blinded by laser lightshow

Story Highlights
-Laser show at a music festival injures more than 30 people, reports say
-Concertgoers lose up to 80 percent of their vision
-20 people undergoing treatment in Moscow hospitals

ok, so I am not as much laughing at the fact that people were injured. you know this. i am laughing at the fact that people still attend RAVES. IN MOSCOW. do you think they wore lots of fur and denim? were they snorting vodka or just drinking it? did they have glowsticks? are there glowsticks in russia? were they listening to the music that they played at raves here in 1995?

so many questions. and about the lasers...did they use real lasers? are there high grade lasers? aren't you not supposed to look directly at lasers anyway?

i love raving russians.

wa.

2008-07-09T06:30:00.000-07:00

can we talk about annoying things?

we spent a nice weekend in CT with my sister and her family. my parents spent the weekend in my house with friends. weird, i know. that is a different story for a different blog. so we get home on sunday and the house is the same as we left it (of course my mom and dad are not going to tear shit up, but you never know. they are on their second childhood.)

about 30 minutes after we get home, the sky opens wide and we get one of the craziest rain storms i've seen in a while. so, i go downstairs to throw some laundry in (i am such a nice husband, doing a lot of housework while the wife is pregs). suddenly i see WATER just flowing in under the baseboard like it's no problem. i'm like, "yo water! get the F out." did it listen, of course not. water doesn't listen.

so i thro a towel down, thinking it is no problem, we will figure something out. 30 minutes later, emily goes down to change the laundry (okay, i am not that great of a husband. shut it.) and basically screams. the water has covered the whole floor in the laundry room. and it has flown in to the closet. such a mess. but we get stuff out calmly and move on. then we go upstairs and there is a huge leak in the baby's room. and then we realize that the windows are leaking. this is a NEW house. this is NOT the first time we have had issues. i get angry.

so i called homeowners, i called the builder, i called the roofer. not much has happened yet. i just feel like my unborn child's room sorta looks like a crackhouse. but it will get fixed. oh, it will.

so i stayed home yesterday for the insurance adjuster to come. he took pictures and stuff. then he told me that the only thing that would be covered is the cost of drywall and paint. haha. thanks! so the builder needs to buck up. i have the number of a good lawyer...

so that is my annoying story. happy week after the 4th of july!

baby vs. dog

2008-06-30T14:20:00.000-07:00

what came first, the chicken or the egg? i say the egg.
what comes first, the baby or the dog? i say the baby.
my wife says the dog. no can do. i'm just not ready.

although, it's tough to resist when she emails me pictures like this one:

(side note: i can not believe i just posted a photo of that dude from fall out boy on my blog. look at the dog, people!)

seriously, that dog is way too cute. and probably a HUGE pain in the ass, unless you are an overpaid emo musician married to one of the simpson girls. see, if i had that dog, it would chew everything i own and pee on everything else. and i would have to pick up its craps. no thanks.

and honestly, i am still getting used to the fact that we are going to have a tiny baby harned to take care of in a few months. talk about peeing on things and picking up poop. i mean, i think the puppy would be easier. but both at the same time? i am not that insane.

i say let's give it a good 9 months...then we buy the cute dog and watch the baby love it more than anything else.

woof!

hell what??

2008-06-12T12:10:00.000-07:00

if you know me, you know i can get down with some TV.

in my college years, i was know to watch Comic View on BET (Black Entertainment Television). i am not even sure if that is still on. i don't watch as much anymore, because i have been busy watching tivo recordings of 90210, blind date, golden girls and lots of other gems. (like the one with the keaton family...can't. think. of. name. damn!!! update 10 minutes later: family ties.)

so, our dvr broke. still have tivo, but dvr broke. yes, we are losers and record a lot of tv. tv is like my second wife. whatever, this is my blog. go judge someone else. so we're watching lots of comcast on demand. and, boy, did we find a good one.

HELL DATE.

check it. one person thinks they are going on a dating show. the other person is an actor and makes the date "hell". they usually do a good job. one woman took off her nails before she gave her date a lap dance. and asked him to put them in his pocket. ew. then, after she danced like a fly girl from "in living color" (also on dvr, thank you very much), she took her fake boobs out of her shirt. he laughed. until she proceeded to take her wig off and flip out. hilarious. and then, wait for it...

a midget comes out of nowhere and says, "YOU ON HELL DATE!" to the dude.

exhibit a:

then the devil does a dance. the guy gets confused and says, "hell what??" (because really, who watches BET?). you need to check it. for real, for real.

why we should all embrace nj

2008-06-09T17:30:00.000-07:00

emily snapped this from the passenger seat on sunday, on our way home from my parents' house in nj.

that truck's got BALLS.

oh, bill.

2008-06-04T06:56:00.000-07:00

what has happened to the cos? i mean, seriously.

i know that he went down hill after the death of his son, ennis. but i really don't think he ever recovered. when i was working at temple, there were lots of great stories...especially the ones where female univeristy employees accused him of touching them inappropriately. that sent shockwaves through the community; how could doctor huxtable, an OB/GYN touch women inappropriately?

then, over the past few months, i've been hearing about the rap album he's putting out to uplift his community. no curses, very will smith. who knows.

but now, this really takes the cake...

he is auctioning his famously embarrassing sweaters on ebay.

so i checked ebay. there are three. and they are all starting at $5,000. there are no bids so far. and the auction has 8 days left. who will buy them? maybe theo.

welcome back, friends

2008-06-03T13:53:00.000-07:00

so, it's been about 3 months (not quite) since i have written on this blog. a lot has happened since then. and i thought i was just going to stop writing. but just today i decided that i should keep on keeping on.

as i have done in the past, after long, long stretches of time with no blogging, i am providing a quick update on what is happening in my life.

1. BABY. big news. but old news to pretty much everyone who reads this. yep, we're jumping in to the great world of parenting. i'd like to sit back and say that it has not changed anything for me, but it has changed a lot. and for the better. it's amazing to think that in just 4 short months, i am going to be a dad. i'm ready for the challenge and i just hope i can do well. only time will tell. in the meantime, i have had quite a few funny dreams about the baby. one was that she was smoking a cigar. weird.

2. Vacation. we went to saint john with the colburns and it was great. lots of laying around and lots of smoothie drinking. it was the perfect relaxing vacation.

3. American Idol. I am so glad that annoying little archuleta kid did not win. i'm not in love with the rocker and i would never buy his music, but whatever. did i ever love any american idol? oh yeah, i forgot about since u been gone is still in heavy ipod rotation.

4. House Work. emily and i took a weekend to redo our basement. we moved the tv to another wall (thanks to my electrically inclined father who helped me to splice and move elictrical wiring). then we spackled and painted it all blue. three shades to be exact (note: be sure to take your original paint chip back to the store when you are buying your color, because they all look the same!) We got a new couch and some art framed. it's like a new room. and it is definitely almost baby-ready. this kid better like bad reality tv.

5. Grilling. Ahhh...my favorite past time. Started in May with some veggies, then home made burgers with garlic and muenster. we actually took pictures. dorky, i know. but we got a new camera and a fancy new computer, so i am all up on it. anyway, we are grilling tonight. look out, burgers and dogs.

so that is it for now. i really don't have much to write about. i would love to write more about the baby and how that has been going. maybe i will. in the meantime, email me and tell me what to write about. i need to get funny again...i lost it.

the glory of mickey deez in march

2008-03-13T18:51:00.001-07:00

shammy shammy y'all, shammy y'all shammy YAY!

it's march and i fucking love shamrock shakes.

in february, i looked at emily and said, "when are shamrock shakes coming out?"
she replied with "march, i guess." but it was in this tone that made me feel not only embarrassed but slovenly. yes, slovenly. so whatever, i waited like 3 weeks and i was able to get my shammy on, y'all.

so we went on sunday and i got my shit FO FREE! can you believe it? i pulled up to the drive in and they were like "yo, driiii thru is closed." i was not giving up that easily. i parked my green car (in honor of shamrock shakes, not st. patrick or the irish) and walked my large and in charge ass in to the scary mcdonalds (which has been remodeled to look like starbucks?). the manager walked up to us and was like, "it's gonna be a while before y'all get some food, our registers is down." i was like "oh well we only want shamrock shakes." he is like, "oh good!" and pours us two and hands em over. i love sundays.

so anyway, that is my story. i like the shake. bit honestly, that is probably the only one i will get. i don't want to push my luck or anything.

so i just did a search for shamrock shakes and i found this site: http://www.tiktok.org/shamrock/
that seriously makes me NOT like them. actually, it makes me think that some chubby loser made that site in like 1998 and pays to keep it up. should we email him and tell him that he needs to come to philly to get his shit for free...or get shot?

then i found some more fun info. according to the source of all sources, the great wikipedia:

"Shamrock Shakes were widely available across Canada and the United States until the early 1990s. According to the McDonald’s website, Shamrock Shakes are now sold exclusively in Ireland, although they are still available at select American stores during the month of March. The Shamrock Shake typically appears in mid-February."

again, wiki is wrong. and emily can prove them wrong. she knows the shammy shows up in march. duh. maybe she knows because she is irish.

wow, i have written a lot and i have no point.aside from the fact that I AM A CHUBBY LOSER.

sorry. slanche.

why i love gmail

2008-02-07T09:41:00.000-08:00

if you don't have a gmail account...you should.

there are tons of great things about it, but the funniest is the paid search ad space that shows up above your message. sometimes it will pick up a word in your message and serve up a related ad to you. other times it will give you ridiculous ads that try to catch your attention.

well, gmail got me today:

Free Fart Videos - AmazingFartVideos.com - 10 Farts That Shook The World Captured On Video!

AMAZING. i'm sending gmail a valentine.

god bless philadelphia

2008-01-17T09:08:00.000-08:00

check our new mayor killing Rapper's Delight:

you may ask if i am hopeful for my city in its next four years. to that, i say, "holllaaaaa!"

still ill

2008-01-16T14:27:00.000-08:00

emily was sick for a week. i did EVERYTHING i could to not get sick. i mean, i was bordering weird. i seriously would give tight-lipped kisses on the cheek to my one and only. she just had to understand that i didn't want to get sick too.

but my attempt at being healthy did not work. i ended up with this crappy ass cold. i am so pissed too. why did i even bother to not get it? was it inevitable? i guess it was. now i have this ridiculous throaty cough. and now my nose is even running. i am so sick of halls. seriously. but i am dayquil and nyquil's bitch.

tv is so bad. and so is on demand. why do i just want to watch old movies? i watched the incredible shrinking woman earlier and loved it. i started to watch 12 monkeys, but it was just not what i wanted. then i watched a couple episodes of rome. why can i never get in to "period pieces"? now i am back at watching tv reruns. i am so friggin bored. i can't even entertain myself on the internet. it's just weird. i guess i have cabin fever.

--PAUSE FOR AN INSANE COUGHING FIT--

i'm going to work tomorrow, no matter what. you know it's sad when you actually want to work. i can't watch bravo anymore. waaa.

go phils.

2008-01-07T08:37:00.001-08:00

what is up with the phillie phanatic these days? i've heard that he has a house in flordia that he stays in during the off season. others tell me that he goes to spring training. who knows!

yesterday, i was in best buy and found evidence that he has officially "gone hollywood". i guess the philadelphia film surge caused him to take his feathered fun to hollywood.

but wait. let me read that title again...he is not going to hollywood. he simply goes hollywood.

anyway. this is why i love philly. weird shit all over the place.

merry christyear

2007-12-28T12:53:00.000-08:00

working the week after christmas is for the birds...the birds who have lots of work to get done.

it's now friday and i've had 2 days to get work done and prep myself for a scary-busy 2008. and i finally feel like i am in a good spot. whatever, you could care less. you're just wondering how my holidays were.

in a word: lethargic.

we had friends over on christmas eve eve. we had drinks, i made chilli and we ate lots of cookies. nothing crazy, but good times.

christmas eve was a nightmare made up of migraines and crying babies. for real. i got a migraine at like 1:30 and was forced to entertain. my neice is one and a half and has cried for the duration of her life. when she came in, i saw that evil look in her eye and just knew she was there to make my migraine worse. she succeeded. i was in bed by 11.

christmas was nice. we saw emily's family and then mine. i was drained from the evil christmas eve migraine, so i kept it low key.

i didn't get what i wanted for christmas: world peace. they killed that poor pakistani woman yesterday. oh and i didn't get an iphone either. what has the world come to? seriously.

hopefully 2008 will bring lots of apple products and a little peace on earth.

vacation highlights

2007-12-21T11:12:00.000-08:00

my disney family explosion turned out to be a blast. all 13 of us enjoyed ourselves. i feel like we really did what we wanted, when we wanted and shared a good times. i have a lot of pictures to share. and my father has about 14,000 pictures to share. i'll post about 4 of my favorites when i get them off of my camera. until then, here are some highlights:

luggage. all of my family knows just how lazy i am. and they all know how much i loved the fact that our 7-day magical disney experience included luggage transportation. we literally showed up at the airport, checked in and didn't see our bags until we were in our hotel rooms. and then again on the cruise. and then again when we got back to the airport. it was truly magical. and no hassle.

the toilet in our first hotel room. we were in the room for like 5 minutes and someone (i am not naming names, emily) made the toilet overflow. gross. again, it was magically fixed by the disney housemaids who came in. oh, speaking of, the poor maids in our hotel had to dress like aunt jemmima. it was bad. i need to write a comment card on that.

fireworks. what is up with disney and fireworks? i feel like they are OBSESSED. seriously. fireworks every night, several times a night. but i do have to say that the fireworks at the magic kingdom during mickey's very merry christmas party were pretty well done. all i can say is that they had a lit up live human tinkerbell fly away from the castle. i am not easily amused by fireworks, but that got me. haha.

the pool. oh, the pool. lazy river. sand in the floor of the pool. my phone in my back pocket of my suit when going in to enjoy for the first time. it was so worth it. now i can get an iphone, right em??

fucking larks. in case you are not familiar, they are motorized wheel chairs. they are literally everywhere in disney. and the rule on using them is that you have to be disabled (fair usage) or grossly overweight and lazy. i can not tell you how many times i actually saw someone get up out of one and take a walk. disgusting. also, we saw a kid riding one when his dad got out of it. we also bonded with some girls from boston (i think? i was drunk) on just how obnoxious those things are. there was also one on our cruise--in our hall. just you wait for the pictures of me sitting on it.

drinking. clearly, we are drinker. you would not think that disney is so accessible. oh, it is. epcot was like 20 yards away. it's the gateway to the world's drinks. and the cruise ship has eager foreigners who want to get you drinks all day long. we loved them. we also loved the cadillac lounge on the ship--a martini/piano bar that we ruled, due to the fact that there are not many drinkers in disney. we made friends with our waitress--she was thai. and she talked a lot. a lot.

adult time. the kids had a great time on the cruise, because they literally did not see the adults until dinner. kids club! it ruled. also, the disney beach--yes we went to a disney island--had its own adult beach. thank god--the water in the kids pools on the ship were milky white. sick. we also had an adult dinner that was pretty good.

snorkeling. i'd never been. this was a good first try. i got lots of salt water in my nose and mouth because my mask wouldn't seal to my face. i guess that's what happens when you have a rockin', sexy 'stache. in any case, we saw some fish. they got really close. sort of freaky.

laughing. we really had a ball. we played some lame games on the ship. i noticed that my family is full of hecklers. maybe i'm not the only obnoxious one. one of my best laughs was in the airport on the way home when we were looking at my dad's pictures on rick's laptop. wen i say my dad went nuts on pictures, i am not lying. there were points where we just left him, because he needed a snapshot of a disney botanical sculpture. or another family with a character. it got annoying. but god bless him, because he got some really good pictures. and i got about 30. so anyway, we're looking at pictures and my dad took 2 pictures of their cruise door keys. so commemorative.

i am sure there are a lot of other things to share, but i am getting tired of typing. in all, it was a great vacation. many thanks to my parents for a great time. so to all of my friends who hate on disney--give it up. it isn't bad at all.

merry christmas

2007-12-21T11:11:00.000-08:00

that's right, merry christmas. i you don't celebrate christmas, then happy whatever you celebrate. i am not going for the "happy holidays" here, sorry. this is a christmas blog.

i have no idea who this kid is, but this is hilarious to me.

vacation tomorrow!

2007-12-05T07:19:00.000-08:00

hey faithful reader.

i won't be posting for at least 8 days, because i will be on vacation.
if you need to find me, call mickey mouse...in florida. or in nassau. he can find me and relay your message.

bon voyage.

best of 2007

2007-11-28T13:33:00.000-08:00

so i had this idea that until the end of 2007, i would blog about the highlights of the year. and, of course, i am sure it will be sprinkled with low lights as well. i mean, i am who i am. and that is not positive. and not hiv positive either, thank you very much.

my first highlight: best albums of 2007. i am back in to music. i think it's my job--everyone here is a music snob. and i love it. here we go. this is no order, just the order i think of them.

1. spoon "ga ga ga ga ga"
have you heard "the underdog" yet? if not, you need to. i don't care what kind of music you like, you will love this song. i feel like it's an updated bruce springsteen and i hate the boss. seriously. this band is too good. we saw them live and loved it. i even made the wife a fan. she said she listened to this song back to back for a while one day.

2. vampire weekend "mansard roof"
this is only a single, and i only have four of their songs (that is all that is available right now), but this is really good stuff. spin called them "preppy rock" which is what led me to them. isn't that really embarrassing? the lp comes out in 2008 i think. i will buy it for sure. the name of the band is really horrible, i know. but check it out: www.myspace.com/vampireweekend

3. mark ronson "version"
yes, the r&b cover of the smiths "stop me if you think you've heard this one before" was what drew me in. it's not really a favorite of mine, because i don't feel like the singer is good. and no one will top moz. but the other tracks are really, really good. i mean, who doesn't want to hear a jazzed up version of radiohead sung by phantom planet? or would a remake of britney spears' "toxic" with odb (rest in peace) screaming "ooooh n---a i'm burnin' up!" make you happy? it makes me very happy. it's hilarious. and the music is good. also the amy winehouse and lily allen tracks are better than the songs on their own albums. on that note...

4. lily allen "alright still" and amy winehouse "back to black"
i am lumping these two together, because i feel like they should be together. and mark ronson produced both albums. you all know amy winehouse or "wino" because she is a creepy crackhead, but the girl can sing. and lily allen is just a pop singer who covers the specials on her album. it's good times. we saw lily allen this year too. she was so-so. i wouldn't pay to see amy winehouse. she wouldn't show up.

this is all i can write right now. i will come back to this list. and some more best of 2007 stuff.

mr. crankypants

2007-11-19T13:44:00.000-08:00

i woke up in a fine mood today. a little tired, which is usual.

then i got to work and it all went down hill. i can't pinpoint the one thing that made me miserable. but it's now 4:45 and i am not having it. i am pissed. done and done. i need to go home and get some rest--i need to sleep the crank away.

maybe i am mad at the fact that i want a week off for thanksgiving this year. picture it: one full week of eating turkey. night after night of turkey coma and another bit of mashed potatoes. oh my god, i think my mouth just started watering. is it weird to look forward to succotash? and cranberry sauce (straight from the can, not home made. eww.)?

i think i just turned my frown upside down. hungryyyy.

want to laugh for a minute?

2007-11-14T11:52:00.000-08:00

lookie here:

ok maybe not a full minute. but still, pretty funny. right?

i work hard for the money

2007-11-09T10:19:00.000-08:00

damn straight, honey.

work has been sick the past few weeks. by "sick" i mean really, really extremely busy. some days i feel like it sucks, but on other days, i feel like it's pretty awesome. the work i've taken on over the past two months has completely changed my outlook on this job. maybe i'll stick it out for longer than a year after all (do not hold me to that statement).

but seriously, isn't it nice to end the day (even if it is too late) feeling like you've accomplished some goals? or at least to be so busy with things you are interested in accomplishing? every job should be like that. and if yours isn's, i urge you to look elsewhere.

so today is the first day when i have actually had some down time. what do i do with that down time? go straight to the internet. no, i don't take a walk around and say "hello" to my long-lost friends on the second floor (they moved me up to the 5th floor, which is like corporate america compared to the second floor). i come to the internet so i can say hello to you, my friends who read this blog.

i don't know who all of you are. but i know you care, you really care. and since i have not been posting lately, here is a list of things that have happened in my life:

1. went to ocean city, md for a weekend. that was in october. there was a corvette convention. hahha.
2. went to nyc for the weekend. stayed in the millennium hilton with a beautiful view of the world trade center hole. walked back to the room one night and all i could picture were the people who jumped out of that building to try to save their own lived. pretty fucked up. sorry for the downer. the reason we went was to see morrissey at the hammerstein ballroom. it was one of his best shows i have ever seen. and if i am counting correctly, i think i have seen him 12 times. wow, i'm like a deadhead or some shit. but for a gay 80s singer. weird, i know.
3. turned 31. and life goes on.
4. visited the family in connecticut and saw some amazing soccer moves and the ultimate cheer. also went to stephanie's wedding. great to see old friends. wish we saw eachother more.
5. had dinner with the neighbors. nice people. we don't have all that much in common, but the fact that we lay our heads about 30 feet apart from one another must mean something, right? oh and we all need to eat dinner. and drink wine, of course.

now we're all caught up. i better get back to work.

i find humor in other peoples' conscientiousness

2007-10-25T11:20:00.000-07:00

i'm all for saving the earth and shit. but i don't take it too far.

when al gore's movie (which i refuse to watch) came out, a guy cornered me and a group of friends at a party and decided to talk about how amazing the "film" was and how much it really meant.

my response was, "ohhh, right. didn't aerosmith do that soundtrack?"

he was baffled.

here is a new thing that has me all confused and weirded out. i am starting to see this at the bottom of emails:

P Please consider the environment before printing thiss e-mail

i just find it very, very funny that someone would take the time to add it to an email. it might be worse than adding a quote from your favorite philosopher or writer. okay, maybe not that bad.

but the other funny thing is that the email i got was about how the person would be "OOTO" (out of the office for you non-cool work people) tomorrow. it was really tough. i was going to print. but that message saved a tree.

so i guess my point is: i don't need to be conscientious about the earth if people are already doing it for me.

i'm a ham.

2007-10-22T10:01:00.000-07:00

yes, i am a ham. well, not literally, but i like to make funny faces at cameras. or jump in pictures at random and just open my mouth. or smile...REALLY hard. that's the best, right?

so, we had a party at our house a while back and my friend jeff took a bunch of pictures. he posted them all to his myspace page, but these are definitely my favorites:

a favorite photo ruining tactic: stand in the back and act like you are completely out of it.

she loves me. i have no idea why. we have so many pictures of us that could be nice...if i weren't so gross.

dancing like a chubby leprechaun always makes for good times, and a good picture.

cheers!

real talk.

2007-10-09T05:42:00.000-07:00

i seriously can't stop myself.

i heard the new r. kelly song this morning (preston and steve were playing it and making fun of it) and all i can do is keep saying "real talk".

it's like the new way of saying "keeping it real" or "for real". You can hear part of it here:

why is he so crazy? does he intend to be funny? do you think he means to entertain me like this? does he KNOW? or do you think he really has crazy lady friends who be tweakin'? and what ever happened to the charges against him for doing nasty things with underage girls? will he end up in jail?

does anyone own his music? i don't but I should.
i'm way too into it. Real Talk.

this is gonna be awesome!

2007-09-19T14:35:00.000-07:00

ooh oooh ooh!!

sean penn directed a film adaptaion of my favorite book! (ok, my second favorite book, after "everybody poops")

Seriously. Into the Wild by Jon Krakauer.

It's gonne be awesome!

http://ap.google.com/article/ALeqM5htToNIwuDmB5MNYbt09HeBwzwbzw

will update the blog more soon. been busy. working lots.

uninspired and really busy

2007-09-12T13:27:00.000-07:00

i have been neglecting the blawg lately, because honestly, i don't have anything to say. work is REALLY busy and home life is pretty easy going. i can give you some highlights/lowlights on each, if you even care.

i am working on a big pitch for a job that we might get. really big. i was here until 8pm on friday. i missed happy hour. but oddly enough, i was walking through old city to get to national mechanics (possibly a favorite new bar) and ran into rich. he came along. and to our dismay, there was a real life side show happening. a block head, a "bug muncher" and a totally gay nerd who laid on a bed of nails all performed. it was lame. i am not into that stuff. and i really hated the emcee, who was wearing a leopard print fez and told really bad jokes. when i think of these people, i think of 1990's lollapalooza days. and how they have not left that behind.

my boss took us to a phillies game on monday night. every time i step into a park like that, i think of how much i loved doing that when i was a kid. it's this nostalgic feeling. but in a new park? weird. we should totally go more often and spend $6.50 on beer and $8.00 on chickie's and pete's crab fries. whatever. i am still searching for that blue phillies shirt that i want...

i have so much work to do right now. but i am at a point in my day where i feel like i really can not do anything else. my eyes are going to explode. they leave the lights off on my side of the office, so i end every day squinting. it's really awful. maybe more light would make me feel better about working 12 hours straight. at least there is free food.

with that said, i need to get back to work. feel free to comment and let me know what i should write about. inspire me.

oh my gosh, i forgot!

2007-09-06T13:03:00.000-07:00

RIP baby queen. it has been a tearful ten years since that fateful night in gay paris. your memory lives strong in the 1997 version of "candle in the wind." yes, you were england's rose. and charles was (is?) england's tampon.

it's gonna be a good weekend

2007-08-31T11:17:00.000-07:00

we're camping in virginia this weekend. i hope we come home early on monday, because i should have a very special delivery waiting for me. Just got this email from netflix:

R. Kelly: Trapped in the Closet: Chapters 1-12

Arriving on or around: Saturday, Sep 01, 2007

Holla. Happy Labor Day.

awkward children

2007-08-28T14:50:00.001-07:00

venezuala, circa 1988 (?)

there i was, in venezuala...wondering why no one there had tight rolled their pants or buttoned their shirts all the way up. did they not know style? were there no cool kids in caracus? where the z cavaricci at? where my bugle boyz at? nowhere to be found. i was bound to show them what it was to be hip and cool. or maybe what it was to want to be hip and cool.

damn, i was the most awkward person in the world at age 13 (that is an estimate--you can never tell how old i am in pictures, because i was/am a human giant). i am still pretty awkward, but do i look like that now? will i look at current pictures when i am 45 and gasp and want to curl up in a ball and make it go away? please say no. (in my mind, i know the answer is "yes" since i shudder at photos now.)

i mean, i have to say, this can't be all my fault. seriously. what were my parents thinking? did they think i was a "cute" kid? there is no possible way. why didn't they cage me up and never let me out? how did they let me pick those glasses? did they not know that the eyeball does not extend to the cheek and that my cheeks don't need to see too? did they think the tight roll was okay? (to my defense, those pants had a printed material on the inside. so bugle boy encouraged the tight roll--my parents didn't even have to.)

anyway. that picture speaks for itself. and i have many many others that speak for my awkwardness as well. and they are going to get better. or worse? in any case, i'm going to begin to post them every once in a while. it's therapeutic. (not really, but that is a funny thought: embarrassing myself is therapeutic.)

ridiculous

2007-08-22T08:50:00.000-07:00

i know it's really crass to publish this post after my last blog. but that is just how my brain works. sorry.

so we all know i work for a company that produces those annoying little banner ads, right? i have always ignored those ads, but now that i am in this job, i notice every one. so from time to time, i am going to copy (at least one frame) them and post them here. because they are so ridiculous. my favorite is this dancing alien for mortgages--it always shows up on cnn.com. but i have not seen it in a while.

my new favorite is this:

i actually hate it. and i hate that store. it's just so ridiculous. it embarrasses me for some reason. in case you are not familiar, american apparel is a clothing store that mainly sells cotton garments like tee-shirts, sweatshirts,etc. but they also sell tights and lame (luh-may, i have no accent symbols and am too lazy to look up how to create one in html)shit. it's horrendous. i remember walking by one of those stores in DC with my parents. a sales girl was wearing fluorescent green tights and a lame (again, lu-may)bathing suit. they circled back around to look and laugh. yes, that is how ridiculous this store is.

the hipsters love it. philly mullets reallllly love it. oh, "philly mullets" are the hip kids in tight dirty clothes with shaggy hair. i did not coin that term. but i used it there for a while. it's another way of saying "hipster" but it's regional. regional hipsters. haha. i'm old.

your prayers or well wishes are needed

2007-08-22T07:52:00.000-07:00

hi, everyone. just wanted to throw this out there...

a friend of ours' two year-old son is in the hospital because he almost drowned in the family's pool last week. emily and i have not spoken to the family, but i just wanted to put it out there...thoughts and prayers can help the little guy get better.

thanks.

the ultimate lazy

2007-08-16T10:04:00.001-07:00

i have reached a new level of lazy. at work.

a coworker and i have a pseudo bet going that we can make it until at least december without changing the bottle on the water cooler.

his rule is that he doesn't take a cup of water when the level is at the second line on the bottle. mine is that i just don't change the bottle. ever. in fact, i just went into the kitchen with my red silo cup in hand (it's like a keg party at work) and found the bottle empty. i went without water. i seriously ate lunch with no drink.

see, for a while i was exempt from changing the bottle, because of my surgery. but now i am all good and have no reason to NOT change it. except for the fact that i am lazy. and place a bet on top of that (with no wager, that is what makes it "pseudo"), and you will never see me lift a bottle.

i do have to say, though, that this could bring some awkward times. what will i do when a woman asks me to change the bottle? that always happened at my last job. i could say, "sorry, i am morally against water bottles of that size." or "ooh, not gonna happen." those probably wouldn't work.

while i am on this topic, i have to tell this story. when i was on a break from any lifting, maybe a week after my surgery, i was walking through the kitchen and a younger woman was changing the bottle. she lifted it up, spilled some water, stepped back, slipped backwards and spilled all of the contents of the bottle on herself. IT WAS HILARIOUS. all you heard was, "oooooohhhh..." but i scurried out of the kitchen, because i quickly realized that i was the only male there. i swear i was only passing through.

regardless, i have never changed the bottle.

grillmaster

2007-08-15T06:49:00.000-07:00

who can grill some chicken and making it tasty?

this sexy m-fer:

this isn't my grill, it's my father's. but this has become my spring-summer hobby. you name it, i've grilled it: hamburgers, hot dogs, chicken, veggies of all sorts, beef, fish. wait, no pork. maybe i am not a pork fan. maybe i am.

my favorite meal of the summer has to be grilled veggies (asparagus, eggplant, peppers of all colors, squash, portbellos) and grilled chicken with a tasty marinade. god, i am hungry.

so the point of this post is for you to get to know me better. this is what i like: grilling, cooking, and eating. i know, it's no surprise. check out those sexy love handles!

more things i hate: august, 2007

2007-08-14T08:41:00.000-07:00

every day i find myself thinking or saying, "god, i hate that!" and it's always something new. am i a complainer, or are the things i hate truly annoying? probably a mix of both. i am not gonna lie--i know i am a complainer and that i hate a lot of things. but these things irk me, as of this morning:

1. "track changes" in microsoft word. yeah, it's nice that you want to show me what you edited, but can't we just be old school and do it on a print out so i don't have to go back, click every f-ing change you suggested and accept or deny? it's a waste of my time. and it always ruins my formatting (another thing i hate).

2. body odor. why is every morning on the bus like a "sure" commercial for me? why don't people deodorize? i mean, come on. when i smell, i know it. and i shower. do you really want to share your funk with the whole bus? or do you really not know? you know when you smell, don't lie. on the other hand, i also hate it when people have clearly bathed in their favorite scent. no one cares if you smell good, they just care that you don't smell. give it a rest.

3. bugs. i have seen a lot in and around my house lately. particularly flies. why? because we have an ancient apple tree on our block. the crab apples fall on the ground and rot (until someone cleans them up) and swarms of flies abound. every time you open the door, you are bound to get a fly in the house. it sucks.

4. calculators. how the hell did i get a job where i need to use one every day? what happened here? it's been this way for a few years now, but it's just weird. i was an english major in college. now i could be a mathlete (except for the times when i have to call or IM emily and ask how to do a percentage. no lie. i'm not embarrassed. in the end, i know the calculator is my friend, but i hate it. i always transpose numbers and have to do things all over.

that's all i have for now. i am sure i will come up with more in a few minutes.

the weekend

2007-08-10T13:56:00.000-07:00

Everybody's working for the weekend
Everybody wants a little romance
Everybody's goin' off the deep end
Everybody needs a second chance, oh
You want a piece of my heart
You better start from start
You wanna be in the show
Come on baby lets go

seriously, let's go. this day is never ending and i am ready for weekend fun. i really have nothing to report. i just wanted to post something, because i was on such a roll with posting.

this weekend has really just been long. work has been busy, but in a good way. and we went to great adventure for a company outing yesterday. no, that is not what i mean by "busy in a good way". but i guess i was busier because i knew i was going to be out for a day. honestly, not much else has happened this week.

enjoy the weekend. maybe something will come to me over the weekend and i will blog the crap out of it.

stop the violence

2007-08-06T10:33:00.000-07:00

i am about to get serious.

what can we do to stop the violence in philadelphia? it's really upsetting. why do so many people have to die...in vain?

speaking of, that reminds me of a story...a few weeks back, emily and i went to the liquor store to buy some stuff. it just so happens that this store is right next to a monster pets. there were about 10-15 people standing just off the property, picketing monster pets. one woman kept yelling, "animals are dying in vaaaaaaaain!!"
another woman was chained inside a wire pet crate, wearing a dog mask. so weird.

i digress. i am really upset about people dying for no reason. why isn't the city doing anything to stop it? our mayor is such a scumbag. i wish he got jumped while waiting in line for his new iphone. then maybe we would have action to stop the violence. what can we do?

i wish the philadelphia rap community would come out and make a "stop the violence" video like they did back in the late 80s. remember "stop the violence, say peace" with chuck d, kool mo dee, etc? that was excellent. so i am calling on the roots, eve, and any other philly rapper to remake it. and maybe be smart and stop the "no snitches" thing too.

it's time this city get back to its' roots. we are the city of brotherly love.

clean up time

2007-08-02T08:07:00.000-07:00

remember when you were a kid in art class? the last 10 minutes of class was always dedicated to "clean up", right? apparently, that rule hasn't stuck for the people who created the mosaic monstrosity on our block.

all of the work is said and done. the artist is not coming back. but the rest of the block is a mess! there are spots of blue, purple and pink grout everywhere. even on our front steps. and they left tile shards all over the place.

does anyone know how to clean up the colored grout? aside from calling the douche-ey artist and telling him to come back and clean up. maybe turpentine?

i'm pissed.

i have so many stories to tell lately

2007-07-31T13:39:00.001-07:00

so it seems as though i've got an email doppelganger.

a few months back, i got an email from this woman named angie. it was a tasteless, yet funny, joke. not my typical email fodder, but funny. the thing is, i didn't even know the sender.

so i replied: "funny, but i don't know you."

she replied: "oh wow, my husband has the same email address as you, but with a '1' at the end"

then she asked where i was from, because we all have the same last name. whatever. i left it at that. next thing you know, i am getting dumb forwarded joke emails from her husband, who has an email address awfully close to mine. why is he now emailing me?? so weird. anyway, i just deleted them. i figured, why bother replying and being rude. i took the high road for once in my life. and the emails kept coming in. i mean, how hard is it to just delete an unread message?

but today? today was a different day. i got another email from angie. and for some reason, when she emails, i think it's my friend, angie. so i open them to read. and oh, it isn't the angie i know! it's the angie who is remotely related to me. her email today was...interesting.

here is it: (also, picture it in a cheesy, script font)

"i need you on the computer ash is thinking of keeping this kid because annie has talked her dumb ass into keeping it."

OH. MY. GOD.

seriously. is angie referring to abortion? i am appalled! but seriously, like emily said, who is the dumbass in this situation? is it that hard to get an email address right? so i just HAD to respond to this email:

"whoa. wrong email! you guys should take me off your lists. bill has sent me many forwards. i usually just delete them..."

i think she felt pretty crazy. if only she knew that i googled her and found that she has a CHRISTIAN web site...no lie!! do christians condone abortion? she replied, as though she had been embarrassed by my email:

"OH GOD, so sorry about that, I thought I had done that already. So sorry."

"OH GOD"? please. i had to reply:

"It's okay. God doesn't monitor email."

i am awaiting a response.
am i evil?

i hate people.

2007-07-31T12:05:00.000-07:00

i got into a fight with a cab driver today.

i had lunch with a coworker today. we went all out and went to beau monde (awesome creperie). we got in the cab to come home...er...back to the office and i started sweating and feeling a little sick. couldn't feel any air, and my window was locked. so i politely asked if he could unlock my window so i could get some air.

immediately the cabbie gave me this nasty attitude and was like, "if i put the window down then that means i have to turn the air off."

so i was like, "sorry, i'm just really uncomfortable. i just need some fresh air"

to that, he replied, "so we all suffer?"

WHOA.
i forget what i said to that, but he finally gave in. he was like, "fine, buddy". in a huff, he turned off the air and opened his windows two front windows. let's not forget that the back and front seats of cabs are separated by a plexiglass window. therefore, my friends, i still got no air. and the cab, of course, smelled like ass and smoke. so i was like, "well you might as well turn it back on, because we can't open the back windows". with that, he finally he unlocks them and puts them all the way down.

coworker and i look at each other and are like, "wow, it actually feels really good!"

the rest of the ride is quiet. and somewhat uncomfortable. i didn't mean to cause such a commotion, but i am sure that cabbie didn't want me to pass out or puke in the cab. seriously, i have been having this issue lately. i got sick on saturday night. i think it was due to the heat.

so the next part gets interesting. because if you know me, you know that i am not taking this guys shit without at least getting a dig in. so when i get out, i actually tipped him (i didn't want to look like a loser/cheapo to my coworker and she paid for the cab there). so as i am getting out (coworker is out of the car), i said, "thanks for being so generous with the air." that was it.

as we walk into the building, he starts screaming. we couldn't hear him and i just ignored it. i had no idea what he was saying, but it was something to the effect of,
"you better watch who you're messing with."

now i know i was not a model citizen in this situation, but come on.

i need advice

2007-07-31T06:36:00.000-07:00

ok, so i have an interview with a web design company scheduled for thursday at 3.

should i go? here are my weighing factors:

1. i am not 100% sure that this job that i am in is the right one for me. but it's not horrible and i am doing well. hell, i even got an employee recognition ($25 gift card and a "shout out" by the vp in the company newsletter. and i have been here almost 4 months. plus, we are being bought by a major corporation, which could be exciting...

2. i met one of their employees this summer and she gave me a recommendation for the job. this new place is very small (as opposed to the huge place i work for. i just got my picture taken for a corporate id. (that is how big we're talking.)

3. it took like 3 weeks to schedule this appointment. pretty annoying.

4. a lot of people are unhappy and generally pretty miserable here. one of my coworkers, also a classmate from college, is going back to her old job. today is her last day.

what to do? i am thinking i will just go and check it out. it won't hurt anything, right?

a pizza my mind: part 2.

2007-07-30T07:43:00.000-07:00

ellio's responded! see below:

Dear Mr. Harned:

Thank you for taking the time to contact McCain Foods USA, Inc. concerning our Ellio’s Frozen Pizza. You stated that you were disappointed with the size of the slices of pizza in your recent purchase.

Ellio’s continues to be a great value priced pizza, and has only initiated one price increase in over 10 years; despite ingredient and packaging cost increases. The minor change in size is an effort to avoid increasing prices to our consumer. We appreciate your support and use of our products and value you as a loyal consumer. I will mail a complimentary coupon to your attention with the information you forwarded. Thank you for your comments.

Sincerely,

Customer Rep. Name Here (I deleted this)
Consumer Affairs Coordinator
McCain Foods USA, Inc.
www.ellios.com

free pizza for the fatty. see what an email can do??? but seriously. why not just raise the price? no, let's keep it the same price and make it miniature. that just doesn't make sense to me. you usually buy products that say, "NOW 40% BIGGER!!" on the box. this one says nothing. but when you open the box, to your (or at least my) surprise, see three mini pizzas. LAME.

i say hike the price and give me my big slices back. or, i will just buy the store brand. it's better anyway!

god, i am so depressing.

sorry, but...

2007-07-30T07:38:00.000-07:00

dorky white people annoy the shit out of me.

a coworker (the staring one) was just telling an older woman (i actually like her) that he saw the wu tang clan over the weekend. i stopped listening and then i heard her say, "i'm a big fan of the woot tang clan! they are like seriously are crazy. they rock!"

ughhhhhh...

warning: adult content. sort of...?

2007-07-30T07:34:00.000-07:00

here is a close up of the tile.

we saw one of our neighbors again last night and she was like, "we might cover it up down the road..."

then emily showed another neighbor and he couldn't figure out what it was. that is funny to me on so many levels.

enjoy, stalker.

wall of shock and terror

2007-07-29T08:37:00.001-07:00

so, the mosaic mural horror show is almost complete.

i haven't helped do anything, because i am not into it. and i'm not interested in mingling with the people who have paid $250 to do this work. and from what we can hear, the artist is bossy (yells at people loudly to execute his vision). i guess i am not really a fan of this wall in the end. i mean, yes, it looks better than a feces-stained cinder block wall, but there is an addition that is just putting it over the edge.

THERE IS A VAGINA TILE.

(click on the picture to see a closer view)

unbelievable. we walked outside last night with a few friends and noticed a tile, right above the neighbor's window that strangely resembles a millipede. or a big cartoon-like hairy vag with a butt hole. this picture does no justice, but i had to try to take a picture out of the window of the front door. i really need a new camera.

anyway, at first i was laughing really hard. our neighbors were like, "we could take it down." but we declined and left. then i started to think about it. and now i think it's really bad. it's funny. but not really. in the end, i will be looking at a vagina tile every time i leave my house. and what about when i have to sell the house? will someone see the vagina tile and it will be a deal breaker? nahhh...it's funny.

for the record, i have to state that i am not a fan of this mural. and i can't believe we donated money to this artist who basically charges people to do his dirty work. what a crock! and to top it off, it's fucking ugly! look at the PINK AND PURPLE grout that they are using. ughhhhhh...

i swear, it gets worse every time i look outside. nothing i can do about it.
come over, take a look. find the subtle (or not so subtle) references. and take a poop on it if you like. i don't care. you'd never see it anyway.

my own hbo special

2007-07-28T10:43:00.000-07:00

way back in the day, carter and i were watching hbo in our dorm room and came across this story about a crazy guy who decided he could not live indoors. i don't really remember much about the story. but one one excerpt really stuck with me:

the cameras followed him down an alley, behind a dumpster. the camera turned left, toward a wall that was streaked. the camera goes back to mr. crazy and he says, "it's feces. shit. means you're not allowed around here."

it was so funny and so disturbing that it has stuck with me. i can't even count how many times i have said it since. too many, i'm sure. and now i know it will never leave. and this is why...

yesterday morning, i went outside on my way to work and saw a pile of crap in the street, up against one of the backs of the houses where the mural is to live. flies were swarming and clinging to the ball of poo. i nearly puked. it was stained on the wall (hence the opening reference).

i walked a few steps further and saw it smeared on my neighbor's house! there was a plastic bag sitting over it. but it was so close to the other poo pile that it was just too suspect. whatever, i needed to get to work. and i was not about to touch it anyway.

later on friday night, a few neighbors were outside. the guy who had the poo on his house said he cleaned it up. everyone thinks it was HUMAN crap. disgusting. but a few of us, who are newer to the block, swear that it was a dog pile. there are facts for both sides:

For the Dogs:
there was a plastic bag. maybe that means an unknowing master had a puppy with diarrhea? maybe the mess was just so bad that they ran and left it. sadly, this is the only point under the "for the dogs" header.

For the Humans
Well, the ball of poo near the mural was sort of high on the wall. it seems almost impossible for a dog to crap that high. Strike one.
One of the neighbor's dogs wanted to eat the poo REALLY bad. i bet it had some tender vittles in it. sick.

in any case, it's all cleaned up now. in my mind, it was dog poo. not crackhead poo. i can not imagine what i would have done had i seen either incidences. i most likely would have yelled, "it's feces! shit! means your not allowed around here!"

ellio will pay

2007-07-27T10:52:00.000-07:00

has anyone noticed that ellio's pizza has been dramatically cut in size?
i am going to email them and give them a pizza my mind.

liver, no onions.

2007-07-27T10:36:00.000-07:00

my liver has been freed!

i had the stent removed from my liver yesterday morning. i went in at 8:30 for my 9:30 appointment, because of all of the prep time. first, they led me back to a patient prepping area where first they made me get changed. the woman handed me 2 of the XXXXL robes, which were really not necessary. i mean, i know i am chubbed out, but come on. i had to put two of them on, and the sleeves were so huge and baggy that they actually come down to my wrist. it was pretty funny. i felt like i was in a clown suit. because not only was it HUGE, it was also a different print from the regular sized robe. of course, never make the fatty feel comfortable, make them stand out even more.

so they sat me down, asked me 120 questions that they have asked me at least 10 times before, and got my IV in. that is never comfortable. then i sat there and waited to be escorted to my room. as i was sitting there, i listened to an old man tell a nurse that his "penis hurt" and that his wife died recently. god, i don't want to get old. then i found myself mesmerized by the print on the gown i was wearing. it was geometric shapes mixed with line drawings of several of those shapes. in many bright colors. it was very 80s. i was an 80s clown, about to have my body invaded with a scope. through my mouth.

so, finally, a guy came and took me to my operating room. he asked me if i was a wrestler...? so, i replied, "yes, a sumo wrestler." i am so weird.

i get into the room, i lay down, and he tells me that he is going to give me lydocane (not sure if that is spelled right, and i am not checking.)and that it was going to taste really horrible. like rotten bananas. people in the medical field have the weirdest analogies for feelings that things they administer give. when i was getting one of my 20 ct scans, the woman told me it would feel like i peed my pants. it sort of did. and i guess it sort of tasted like rotten bananas...drowning in chemicals?

so then they made me turn to my side and put this thing in my mouth. basically a contraption to keep it open. then i fell asleep.

i woke up at about 11, had some cranberry juice to rinse that gross chemical taste away, and got dressed. and that was it.

i slept almost all of yesterday. and now i am back at work. (it's a sloooow day today.) i do have some weird feelings in my side. let's hope i don't have to go through any of this again.

coke rage: an amazing week in celebrity gossip

2007-07-25T07:55:00.001-07:00

i'm no perez hilton, that's for damn sure. but i loves me some celebrity gossip.

so two big stories about to big fuckheads: lindsay lohan and britney spears.

hilarious and sad at the same time.

"la lohan" was caught drunk driving with coke on her. apparently she was stalking her ex-assitant's mom? total coke rage. when will this kid ever learn? users are losers, losers are users. don't use drugs. don't use drugs. (take a bit outta crime!)

and brit-brit had a meltdown during an interview with Ok! magazine? i have an inside source who says they will be publishing the article. could this bring Ok! out and make it a formidable rag? doubtful. sorry, trish's freind who works at Ok! (my source). i can not wait to hear what happened. do you think she went into a coke rage and threw her baby across the room? or maybe she used it as an ottoman during the interview?

we'll all know on friday.

first picture

2007-07-23T14:07:00.001-07:00

here it is...as of today. the whole thing should be done this weekend!

so magical!

2007-07-23T09:26:00.001-07:00

our neighborhood is going from mexico to magical!

our neighbor contacted this artist names isaiah zagar to create a mural on the wall that faces our homes. and he started on sunday. it's going to be interesting. i will post pictures soon. but check out his site in the meantime...

http://www.philadelphiasmagicgardens.org/

btw--went to AC yesterday to see emily's uncle's bad, the exceptions (they played at our wedding=good times). so i got drunk outside, ate at hooters with family (weird), and only wasted $20 in the casino. was in bed by 10. i'm old. tonight is the morrissey concert.

creepy.

2007-07-20T13:30:00.000-07:00

i'm at work. just looked up and a male coworker was staring directly at me. when he realized i caught him staring, he gave me "the nod." i looked back at my computer and kept working.

5 minutes later, i sensed the staring again. i looked over. he was leaning back in his chair, with his feet up, staring at me like a dog eyeballs a big pile of red meat.

so bizarre. should i get my seat changed or something?

dinner for 4

2007-07-19T19:32:00.000-07:00

so we had our neighbors over for dinner tonight. it was a great time.

we had grilled chicken, eggplant, asparagus and mushrooms. i have to say, i love grilling and chilling. or grillin n' chillin? both.

conversation ranged from gardening to midgets. it was so adult. i have never felt so adult. until i had one too many beers and puked on the neighbor's wife. kidding.

keep it real. and invite yourself over for dinner any time. me and wifey would love it.

i forgot about this thing

2007-07-18T16:30:00.001-07:00

i promise to write more soon!!

i love tivo

2007-06-05T14:25:00.001-07:00

emily will hate me for this post, because i'm "obsessed." too bad. maybe i am.

it has been about 6 months since we have used our tivo. in the meantime, we got a comcast dvr, but it just doesn't do the job the tivo can do.

so i went out, got the tivo network adapter and set that puppy up in our bedroom. and i am in love all over again. but i am growing more and more attached. right now, as i blog, i am scheduling shows online. i just searched movies blindly, and this came up in the results:

--------------------------------------
Black Girl Next Door 3 (2005)
Women of color are friendly with their neighbors.

Umm, that description is utterly hilarious. i need to find more. now i am not addicted to the tivo, but the online service.

my life is sad. very sad. even my wife knows it.

debbie downer

2007-06-04T12:57:00.000-07:00

in case you were worried, i am fine.

i had some bile in my adbomen that made me violently ill. i had to have an endoscopic procedure (through the mouth) where they placed a stent on my liver. that (hopefully) stopped the bile from leaking into my abdomen. i was in the hospital for 6 days, but i am feeling better.

i'm headed back to work tomorrow. i have been out for like 2 weeks now, but had no fun. in fact, we had to cancel our trip to mexico and a short trip to DC. it ruined our third wedding anniversary and emily's 30th bday. pretty shitty. shitty city.

so now i have to make it all up to her. what should i do???

blogging from bed

2007-05-22T08:26:00.000-07:00

hey loser. or should i say hey losers since i have 2 readers?

so i am sitting here in bed, typing away. in bed because i had surgery on friday. they removed my gallbladder. it's a useless organ that does nothing for you, apparently. well, maybe it makes you poop. i say that because i have not pooped since friday. weird, right? i am gonna wait it out. i have a bottle of milk of magnesium staring at me, but i would rather go au natural.

in the meantime, i am bored as hell. laying here in bed, not watching tv. why not watching tv? bc tv sucks without tivo and there is nothing on anyway. i watched the davinci code yesterday. that really sucked. and i liked the book.

yesterday was our third wedding anniversary. i made it really special, being in bed and unshowered and all. hot. we ordered food from swanky bubbles through diningin.com and watched the last king of scotland. that was a pretty good movie, but i just could not get over how forest whitaker's skin tone changed a few times. i mean, why make him darker? does that really do anything for the character? weird. regardless, it was a good movie.

so my company was bought or is being bought by a technology powerhouse. right now it doesn't sound like it means anything for me. things should stay the same. but i have heard that before. if i end up getting screwed on this deal, it will really suck. i don't need that stress.

ok i better go. i need to get some sleep. haha.

letter to alice

2007-05-09T09:56:00.000-07:00

dear friend,

thank you for reading my blog. sorry i have not updated in 2 days or so. i was in the er on monday night and still have really bad stomach pains, so i am not in the mood to write funny stuff. maybe after the cat scan i will be better? who knows. ttfn, lylas, bff.

hugs-n-kisses,
brett

it's been a while

2007-05-06T07:25:00.000-07:00

wow. the blog. i forgot all about it.

i just got a traffice report for this page and it tells me that 16 people looked at this page last week. who are you? and why are you interested? what should i write about?

i'm sitting here tired, barely awake, not knowing what to say. i can say this much: these old bones, they ain't what they used to be. ain't what they used to be...

i am so freakin tired. but since i hit 30, i can not sleep past 9:00 (at the very latest). i don't really even have a need for an alarm clock now. i know a lot of people would say, "well wait until you have a baby." but guess what, i don't have to. i am already a never-sleeper. just like how david cross's character on arrested development was a never-nude. but not exactly, because i sleep...and i don't wear jean shorts.

anyway, new topic? this wednesday is my very last class of the semester. i have to write my paper, but i am not motivated. that is probably why i am writing this. ugh.

ok, on that note, i better go. thanks for visiting.

the forbidden dance

2007-04-05T07:20:00.000-07:00

can we please talk about the crip walk for a minute?

i made my way through a crowded bar the other night by doing the crip walk (as a joke, of course). little did i know that just by doing the dance i put my life in danger.

i just googled the crip walk and found out that it's actually a forbidden dance, very much unlike the lambada. The crip walk, or c-walk is a dance that "members of the street gang Crips would use nimble movements of their feet to spell out their names or other Crips words (sometimes spelling out Bloods, the name of their rival gang, and then crossing it out). Many Crip gangs also use the C-Walk to celebrate the initiation of a new member. It is also believed that the C-walk was used as a warning, for example in the build-up to a robbery: The lookout would stand outside of the store and act as surveillance, while the robbers would await the signal—the C-walk." (do i have to cite wikipedia here using APA style? no.)

i also read online that one could be shot for doing the crip walk. scary! while i am on the other coast from the crips, we know how the east coast/west coast thing goes. and i am not about to go out like biggie (rest in peace). so from this moment on, i will not do the crip walk in bars or even in my own house, when getting up to get myself a 40 oz. from the fridge.

i'm just gonna keep it real and walk like the hefty white dude i am. holla!

what nerds read

2007-04-04T09:13:00.000-07:00

if you are at all confused about the industry i work in, take a look at this link. this is the sort of thing my coworkers drool over.

http://www.typotheque.com/articles/re-evaluation_of_gill_sans/

and i love it, especially because i am obsessed with england and anything to do with it (especially the spice girls).

seasons change

2007-04-02T09:07:00.000-07:00

wow, it has been a really long time since i have blogged. i would actually be surprised if anyone is even checking this page anymore. so if you know me, you know that a lot has happened in the past month. here's an update:

1. i got a new job. my first day is april 9. it was a weird experience...i was recruited by a company and had a new job offer within the span of like 10 days. i'm pretty excited.

2. i hit 4 cities in 5 days with my current job. that was a contributing facor in leaving. they broke me down mentally.

3. we have a leaky freaking basement. i am pissed. but i think it might be fixed? we had a hard-driving rain last night and there was no leak this morning. so keep your fingers crossed for us!

4. we are getting a puppy in may. not sure what type yet. but in the meantime, we are puppy-sitting macy, val and brian's coton de tulear. if she f's up the house, we are so not getting a puppy.

5. we got free tickets to the justin timberlake concert last week. there was one mens room in the entire stadium. they transformed all of the mens rooms into ladies. when i made it to the one mens room, there were 4 dudes in there--all of which were probably gay. gotta love jt.

that's it! be back soon.

office rule

2007-02-28T11:56:00.000-08:00

there are some basic rules that one should follow when sharing a workspace with others. we all know the rules, even though they are not explicitly written. well, at least not in my work.

a rule that is pretty far down on the list in my mind, but still very viable is: NO MICROWAVE POPCORN.

we all like it, but we all know that it smells and that it is SO easy to burn. and it smells even worse when it burns. and can linger for hours.

so just stay away from it. make it at home when you are all snuggled up on your couch watching reality tv or a martin lawrence movie.

that's it.

people are gross

2007-02-23T05:14:00.000-08:00

did you ever notice that people do things in public that you would never do at home, alone? i am not just talking about digging a booger out of your nose or scratching your butt. i am talking about disturbingly bizarre behavior.

on wednesday night i saw a woman on the train scratch at the ashes on her forehead (ash wednesday for you heathens). after she scratched some ashes off, she LICKED HER FINGER.

i seriously almost puked.

why would you ever do that?? did she just always wonder what palm ashes taste like? or did she not eat dinner and was just so hungry that she needed something to hold her over? was she going to lick the subway seat next? or maybe pick a scab? i just couldn't look at her again. and luckily, my ride was over moments later.

look-a-likes

2007-02-19T14:03:00.000-08:00

one of my clients called me today and asked me where i live.

for a split second i thought i might have a stalker on my hands. then i realized that i am talking about an older mom-type. oh yeah, and me. so i told her i live in camden and then she said, "oh, i tought i saw you on the R3 train this morning." it must have been my doppleganger. i can only imagine the freak she saw and thought was me. i hate the idea of being compared to other people, looks-wise, because it makes me realize how really fucking goofy i look.

so this brings me to another point. while i don't like to be compared to someone else's looks, i am always comparing others! one look-a-like case that i have been talking about for like a year came up in conversation today. blanche from the golden girls vs. hilary duff.

VS.

seriously, look at them. they could be related. they both have that flat face, pug look. i have, in the past, said that look is a bit like down syndrome, but that is just wrong. with that, i will leave you.

ice, ice baby.

2007-02-15T09:34:00.000-08:00

we stayed home from work yesterday due to the ice storm (and valentine's day).

the only problem was that i had already cancelled our reservations at amada for dinner, because i thought i would have had class. but nooo...mutha nay-chuh dumped a buttload of ice and snow on us. so we called out, watched saved by the bell and did nothing. we went out for lunch at this funny mexican place near our house and then walked to acme to get some dinner food and essentials, like edy's sundae cone ice cream.

by the time class time had come around, i had already decided i wasn't going. then i got an email from the teacher anouncing that class was cancelled.

well guess what? so were my valentine's day plans. thank you, ice.

i'm bored.

2007-02-12T11:12:00.000-08:00

it has been brought to my attention, by several people, that i have not posted in a while.

i don't really have many excuses, except for the fact that i am bored as hell. it's winter, it's cold, there isn't much happening. i just travelled to houston for work and it was boring. i am in class and it's boring. i went out to dinner over the weekend and it was boring.

i did make a list of things that made me laugh two weeks ago in class, because i was so bored. but i forget what i even wrote. i can tell you some recent things that have happened to me. but beware, because they are all boring.

1. we are *thinking* about getting a dog. but that wouldn't happen until spring, if it actually does happen. and we have no idea what breed we'd buy.

2. i keep finding more annoying things wrong with my house and wonder when the contractor is going to come and fix them.

3. i bought the lily allen album and it's really good and quite funny. emily likes it mich more than i do.

4. we went to our friend's baby's birthday party on saturday and realized that we are a dying breed: 30 year old married people without a baby.

5. i had to cancel our valentine's day reservations at amada because i have class until 8:30. romantic.

6. we've decided to go to an island resort for vacation rather than london. it will be good because i need to relax and do nothing but drink and read.

7. we were watching the grammy red carpet last night (i know that is gay and lame) and saw nikki branco walking seal down the red carpet. that was funny.

8. i think i like that dixie chicks song that won like 30 awards.

9. it's going to snow tomorrow and i have to go to DC. lame.

10. a guy threw up on emily, rose and another person's coat in a bar on friday and i guilted all of his friends in to paying for people's dycleaning. i felt like a dousche after it all went down, but people were happy i did it.

that is it. bored.

back to my old ways

2007-01-24T13:06:00.000-08:00

i started my class last week.

first, before i get in to this story, i have to tell you that i am not at all interested in this class. it's communications law. i did everything i could to NOT take this class. i registered for a different class, but they collapsed it with communications law.

so anyway.

eventhough i did not want to take this class i decided to approach it like a real student. for once in my life, i decided to do the homeowrk in advance, take excellent notes, and pay full attention in class.

that new attitude ended about 30 minutes in to the class when the teacher/lawyer announced that he would be giving two exams. then he asked if that was okay, so i said, "i hate tests." he replied with, "yeah no one likes tests." but at least a couple of my classmates agreed with me. so things have already gone downhill and that was the first week of class.

i was still determined to keep up on my classwork. for the first week i had to read about 75 pages of the (tragically boring) text. i started last week. i still have not finished. class is in one hour. i just can not be bothered. does this make me a bad student? do people really read everything? i just can not. there is just too much tv to watch.

maybe i will try to repair my habits this week.

doubtful.

creepy on a new level

2007-01-23T12:53:00.000-08:00

so we moved our office. we're now on the ninth floor rather than the first.
it's smaller and colder, but it's good.

in our last location i could look out the top of my frosted window and see the asian massage parlor across the street. it was always fun to watch an older guy get confused by the location and eventually give up when no one answered.

now that we're on the ninth floor, the view out my window is of china town and the ben franklin bridge. it's pretty nice. especially this morning when it was snowing. i can't wait for a thunder storm.

but the view from the other end of the studio is excellent. you can see center city and city hall. but the best part is the view of the hotel. and the binoculars sitting on the window ledge.

yes, you can see it all. and it is funny. i think i need to invest in a pair to use at home.
does that make me creepy?

waa

2007-01-22T13:53:00.000-08:00

today sucked.

i woke up on the wrong side of the bed. and puked. haha. no kidding, i have no idea why, but i puked. i'm not sick. well, i know why i puked, but the details are not necessary. no, i was not hung over.

so i go outside to walk to work and it's slippery. pain in my izzzass.

i get to work and it is freezing. the heat hardly works. awesome! not really.
and i have an hour and a half long meeting. so boring.

but now i get to leave. i am sleepy.

happy winter.

why i am a loser

2007-01-19T09:03:00.000-08:00

i seriously like american idol. i first wrote "i seriously love american idol," but that just isn't right. i like it. a lot.

i know that they pick on people and i know it's wrong, but in the end it is hilarious and entertaining. and these fools know what they are getting in to. and honsetly, i think simon cowell is a true comedian.

the one thing i wish they would do is focus a little more on the people who did make it. i hate it when we get to hollywood and don't know who half teh people are. at least put their bios up on a web site or something? geeks like me would be all over that!

so to take my loser-dom to a new level, i just discovered the american idol contestants' and winners' "celebrity playlists" on itunes. i just took a look and wasn't surprised by many of their selections. the selections ranged from beyonce to live. but the best was ruben studdard's list. i wish i could copy and paste it here, but i can't. all of his selctions are luther vandross. and it is backed up by a paragraph written by rubes that talks about the memories lutha invokes and the many lives he touched. amazing.

ok, enough of my dorkiness.

twenty

2007-01-18T13:44:00.000-08:00

i had a weird night last night.

i traveled during the day for work and then had my first class of the semester. the class let out early, so i headed home at about 7. emily was at the mall and i realized that i did not have my house key! i called some friends on the way home to see if i could hang out with them while waiting for emily. no go. all 2 of my friends were not home. so i went to a bar. duh.

emily met me an hour later and we had drinks and dinner. before she came in, i was talking to the bartender and waitress. they got a call right as i walked in--they were expecting 20 people to come in to the bar in about 30 minutes. when emily came in, i told her, "20 people are coming here soon. it's gonna get crowded"

she misundertsood me, apparently, because after they showed up, she asked, "why do you think these people are twatty?"

i said twenty. although, twatty was fitting.

white noize

2007-01-16T13:20:00.000-08:00

did you ever know that they make machines that will make "white noise"?
well they do.

we just moved in to a new office space and the acoustics suck. i can hear everything coming from all directions. it's sort of annoying and it makes me nervous about playing my music. especially my "dre day" album. fareel.

so my boss, who sits like 5 feet from me, on the other side of this wall--not really a wall, more like a half wall or built-in partition--decided that he needs something to break up the noise. we were going to get satellite radio to play in the background of the studio, which would be awesome, but some people think we all can't agree on music. again, i must bring up "dre day".

so he ordered 3 "white noise" machines to put between our offices. haha. so now, rather than hearing his talk radio, i will hear the quiet moan of the white noise. whooooosh or "pssssssss" is what i am expecting. but wouldn't it be funny if it sounded like a constant fart?

probably not.